To Piss Against the Wall or Not
This video-clip gave me more laughs in four and a half minutes than I've had all week. Pastor Steven Anderson (Faithful Word Baptist Church, Tempe, Arizona) sermonizes on the phrase "him that pisseth against the wall" in I Kings 14:10. The phrase is also found in I Sam 25:22, 25:34; I Kings 16:11, 21:21; and II Kings 9:8, and is the Deuteronomist's contemptuous way of referring to males destined to be slaughtered on account of "evil done in the sight of the Lord", usually by Israel's own king. "Those who piss against the wall" are simply translated "males" in most bibles, but the former is what the Hebrew text really says. As Tyler Williams notes, the Deuteronomist is "contemptuously comparing males to dogs who piss against the wall".
Pastor Anderson favors the accurate translation over the sanitized versions but -- astoundingly -- takes it as a positive image for men in general: "God said that a man is somebody who pisses against the wall." He then railroads Germany for policies which forbid men to urinate standing up in public restrooms, and laments that "this is where we're headed in America today... We got pastors who pee sitting down. We got the President of the United States who probably pees sitting down. We got a bunch of preachers, we got a bunch of leaders who don't stand up and piss against the wall like a man!"
If you don't believe it, watch it right here. I laughed so hard I was pissing my own pants -- and sitting down, which according to our God-fearing pastor leaves much to be desired in the eyes of the Lord.
UPDATE: Don't miss the hilarious comments under Paul Martin's post.
UPDATE (II): And certainly don't miss Pastor Anderson's sequel diatribe on the same subject, delivered two years later (April 2010).